So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize