can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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