I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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