She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize