How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
