do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
