is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
