Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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