Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize