Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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