We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
