I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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