i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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