in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
