Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
