Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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