I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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