Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
not ubering you a puppy
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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