i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
