Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You may now shotgun with the bride
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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