That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
