My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
