I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
