Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
