Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
