Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
