You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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