What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Use "feeling words"
Yay
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
