what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
