I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
