Sry I called you an 8
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
