U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
