I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
FUCK WHALES
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
