I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
