Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize