worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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