i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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