Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
