He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
