no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
