My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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