Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
