If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
