He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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