I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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