making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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