Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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