how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
