i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
