I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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