VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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