mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
