Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His nipple licking is glorious
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