One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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