once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
