Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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