Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just pee around me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
