i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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