Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Even my vagina gasped.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
