i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Welp...herpes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
