We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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