ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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