This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
