just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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