the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
