we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
