Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
