Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
