but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
foreskin is a definite game changer
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
