He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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